1A UNIX saleslady, Lenore,
2Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more.
3          She found a good way
4          To combine work and play:
5She sells C shells by the seashore.
6%
7A computer, to print out a fact,
8Will divide, multiply, and subtract.
9          But this output can be
10          No more than debris,
11If the input was short of exact.
12                    -- Gigo
13%
14A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison
15And had an affair with a Saracen.
16          She was not oversexed,
17          Or jealous or vexed,
18She just wanted to make a comparison.
19%
20A dozen, a gross, and a score,
21Plus three times the square root of four,
22          Divided by seven,
23          Plus five times eleven,
24Equals nine squared plus zero, no more.
25%
26A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis
27Wished to foster an aura of menace;
28          To make people afraid
29          He wore gloves of grey suede
30And white footgear intended for tennis.
31                    -- Edward Gorey
32%
33A hacker who screwed a mag tape
34Was caught and convicted of rape.
35          To jail he did go,
36          From which, to his woe
37He couldn't get out with ESC.
38%
39A limerick packs laughs anatomical
40Into space that is quite economical.
41          But the good ones I've seen
42          So seldom are clean,
43And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
44%
45A linguist thought it a farce
46That memory space was so sparse.
47          One day they increased it.
48          Said he as he seized it:
49"At last! Enough core for the parse".
50%
51A new dramatist of the absurd
52Has a voice that will shortly be heard.
53          I learn from my spies
54          He's about to devise
55An unprintable three-letter word.
56%
57A progressive professor named Winners
58Held classes each evening for sinners.
59          They were graded and spaced
60          So the vile and debased
61Would not be held back by beginners.
62%
63A very intelligent turtle
64Found programming UNIX a hurdle
65          The system, you see,
66          Ran as slow as did he,
67And that's not saying much for the turtle.
68%
69A wonderful bird is the pelican.
70His mouth can hold more than his belican.
71          He can take in his beak
72          Enough food for a week.
73And I'm darned if I know how the helican.
74%
75Despising machines to a man,
76The Luddites joined up with the Klan,
77          And ride out by night
78          In a sheeting of white
79To lynch all the robots they can.
80                    -- C. M. and G. A. Maxson
81%
82Flappity, floppity, flip
83The mouse on the m"obius strip;
84          The strip revolved,
85          The mouse dissolved
86In a chronodimensional skip.
87%
88If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker,
89It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock.
90          Or some joker who is slicker,
91          Will trick you of your liquor,
92If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.
93%
94Limericks are art forms complex,
95Their topics run chiefly to sex.
96          They usually have virgins,
97          And masculine urgin's,
98And other erotic effects.
99%
100System/3!  System/3!
101See how it runs!  See how it runs!
102          Its monitor loses so totally!
103          It runs all its programs in RPG!
104          It's made by our favorite monopoly!
105System/3!
106%
107There once was a girl named Irene
108Who lived on distilled kerosene
109          But she started absorbin'
110          A new hydrocarbon
111And since then has never benzene.
112%
113There once was a member of Mensa
114Who was a most excellent fencer.
115          The sword that he used
116          Was his -- (line is refused,
117And has now been removed by the censor).
118%
119There once was an old man from Esser,
120Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
121          It at last grew so small,
122          He knew nothing at all,
123And now he's a College Professor.
124%
125There was a young lady from Hyde
126Who ate a green apple and died.
127          While her lover lamented
128          The apple fermented
129And made cider inside her inside.
130%
131There was a young lady from Niger
132Who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
133          They returned from the ride
134          With the lady inside,
135And the smile on the face of the tiger.
136%
137There was a young man who said "God,
138I find it exceedingly odd,
139          That the willow oak tree
140          Continues to be,
141When there's no one about in the Quad."
142
143"Dear Sir, your astonishment's odd,
144For I'm always about in the Quad;
145          And that's why the tree,
146          Continues to be,"
147Signed "Yours faithfully, God."
148%
149There was a young poet named Dan,
150Whose poetry never would scan.
151          When told this was so,
152          He said, "Yes, I know.
153It's because I try to put every possible syllable into that last line that I can."
154%
155A computer called Illiac4
156Had a rather tough bug in its core.
157          It chewed up its cards
158          And spewed yards and yards
159Of illegible tape on the floor.
160%
161